4/18/2013

Politician meets Ambassador or, John McCain meets Cindy Hensley


Today's letter is P, and so we're looking at a match between a Politician type (John McCain) and his real-life wife, Cindy McCain, an Ambassador type.

The Politician personality (John McCain) is more often male than female, and is often a politician, a team leader, a Spin Doctor. If they have substance as well as style, they can be great leaders. Movies and books featuring stories about this personality style will include themes that shine a light on the worthlessness of status gained by dishonesty, without a moral compass (The Firm). They might also look at teamwork as the key to success, or they will be Impostor/Mistaken Identity stories in which a Style makeover (accompanied by Substance) is an avenue to success (Working Girl). Politician personality types can help others feel they’re part of a team. Read more about the Politician personality.


The Ambassador personality goes through life being an event host, an emissary of goodwill, an organizer, a stage mother, and a social climber. For them, life’s social occasions make it worthwhile. As the old adage goes, “Behind every successful man is a woman.” They are the power behind the throne. In movies and books, they are the power behind the scenes at social events such as weddings, funerals, baby showers and class reunions. They can also be owners of hair salons, where they make others more beautiful. Movies that highlight the Ambassador personality type include Sisterhood; 9-5; Fried Green Tomatoes. Read more about the Ambassador personality.

How might a relationship between John McCain and wife Cindy McCain be? 

It’s the perfect political partnership and one of the most attractive and influential pairings possible.

Both are driven by the need for attention and the desire to be loved, thus are people-oriented. Both are outgoing, high-spirited, charming and frequently handsome or beautiful. Both are good at making great first impressions. They’re both able to make others feel that they are the center of attention, which makes them more likeable and able to get others to support them in achieving their goals. 

She would be more personal, thoughtful and kind in her interactions with others. He would have a vision and goals for how to make things better for others, including in their own relationship. She wants to feel proud of him and he wants to be worthy of her pride. She likes to shine a spotlight on him, and he loves to be in it. As long as he appreciates her lavish attention, this relationship will work well. But if he fails to appreciate her, she’ll feel used. She doesn’t need to be the center of attention, but she does need recognition for her efforts on his, or their, behalf.

But the Politician, hating to share his glory, finds it difficult to thank others for their role in his success. He might even think she takes credit for things she has no right to, which might cause her to chip away at his confidence, to make him depend even more on her. If he feels criticized, he’ll distance himself from her, which causes more anxiety on her part, perpetuating the problem instead of eliminating it.

Beneath it all, both feel vulnerable. Aware of each other’s weak spots, they can be highly manipulative when they feel threatened. Both are goal oriented, and yet neither likes to take time to examine their motivations. It’s possible that they can think they’re heading in the same direction, toward greater material and social success, only to realize later that they’re no longer “on the same page,” so to speak.

She will typically feel that he puts his career before everything—her, their family, and home—which are her greatest values. She’ll worry that, in his drive for success, he’s missing out on the things that matter most.

He, on the other hand, will be angry at her insistence that he spend more time with her and the family. He’ll think she’s only trying to make him feel guilty for working too hard, when he feels he’s trying to be as successful as possible for himself, for her, and for the family. Unless they can work things out, and come to an agreement about the meaning of success in their relationship, the relationship could be doomed.  


Additional Information:
What are Instinctual Subtypes?  
Sources from which I collected and synthesized information about the matches 




1 comment:

  1. Interesting psychology you're using. Sounds like a romance plot. :)

    ReplyDelete

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