Queen of Seduction meets Takes Charge or, Kim Katrall meets Dr. Phil

Today's letter is Q, and we're matching the Queen (of Seduction) personality [Kim Katrall] with the Takes Charge personality [Dr. Phil.] 

The Queen of Seduction is usually female. She’s the flirt, the Femme Fatale, the Vestal Virgin, the Groupie. But it could also be the playboy. For this type, life is about the hunt for love. Once the bounty has been captured, they often lose interest, and especially challenges come along. This is the realm of the love story—Boy Meets Girl; Love Conquers All—even across space, time and death. Examples are The Ghost and Mrs. Muir; The Bicentennial Man. Or, the individual is sacrificed for a higher concept of love: Mother Teresa; The Miracle Worker. It could also be the story where parents are seeking a good marriage for their young people in the form of gentle persuasion to outright arranged marriages. If it’s about arranged marriage, the focus is on what got sacrificed and whether advantages outweigh disadvantages. Because the focus is on finding love and romance, it happens before marriage. If the focus about love and romance after marriage, then we’re reading about, or viewing movies that shine a light on marriage as a social institution, and that’s for other personality types (Responsibility; Guardian). Read more about the Queens of Seduction.
  

Archetypically, the Takes Charge personality is usually male. He’s the Knight, a God or Goddess, a Master, a Rescuer, a Gunslinger, a Pirate, a Samurai. Most of all, they’re upholders of honor and protectors of the weak. Secretly, they would love to put down their armor and be vulnerable (the tough guy shows his soft side). Compared to similar types—the King, the Survivalist—they are the most charismatic and fiery of the three, with big appetites. Think Donald Trump. Of all the personality types, they are most likely to seek vengeance after a betrayal. Read more about the Takes Charge personality.

What might a pairing of Kim Katrall and Dr. Phil be like? 

This is a common pairing, and are more alike than it might appear. Both want to have a personal impact on their environment. Both are sentimental, the Takes Charge personality with a hidden soft side. Both will provide for or protect the other while denying their own needs. Both are passionate and vital.

The differences between them come in their focus. The Queen of Seduction is interested in the welfare of the person she loves. The Takes Charge personality wants to impact the world around him to his benefit. Both are strong willed. The Takes Charge personality appreciates the adoration of the Queen of Seduction. The Queen of Seduction appreciates the Takes Charge personality’s strength and his willingness to sacrifice himself for her.

If the relationship were to go south, it would be because of their differing interpersonal styles. The Queen of Seduction is more empathetic, whereas the Takes Charge personality is more blunt, outwardly independent, and proud. The Queen of Seduction tends to see a situation from his point of view, which is the point of view from which the Takes Charge person sees things in as well. He can be selfish if she allows it.

The worse the relationship gets, the more hard-hearted and confrontational the Takes Charge personality becomes, whereas the Queen of Seduction, fearing she’s unlovable, is willing to sacrifice more and more of herself and her interests to him. Sometimes, if they’re in a strongly co-dependent relationship, she will even defend his bad behavior, whether self-destructive or anti-social. But because her interest is more in the hunt than the capture, and she doesn’t like being trapped, the Queen of Seduction will end the relationship before similar types (Ambassador and King) would. But she needs to beware that she ends it correctly. If he fears he’s been betrayed, he’s likely to seek some sort of revenge.  

Additional Information:

What is the Enneagram, and What are Enneagram Personality Types?  

What are Instinctual Subtypes?  

Traits of the 27 Individual Subtypes  

Sources from which I collected and synthesized information about the matches