Today's letter is R, so we're looking at a match between the Responsibility personality type (Tom Selleck) with the Forges New Trails type (Laura Linney).
The
Responsibility personality (Tom Selleck), is as often male as female, and
is associated with safety, family and home life, conservative values, and appreciation
of cultural traditions. Family
oriented, their home shelters them from the world. Often family is all they
need, but they are also loyal friends. Books that exemplify this type’s outlook
and values include family life stories: Sarah: Plain and tall; Little Women;
Old Yeller; Our Town; Cheaper by the Dozen; The Waltons.
Movies and
books that focus on love and romance after marriage (rather than prior to
marriage, which is grist for the Ambassador, Queen of Seduction and Nurturer
types) fall into this type’s themes. This personality type gives love freely,
giving people what they need but not what they don’t want, whereas the
Ambassador, Queen of Seduction and Nurturer types often have a hidden agenda. They
live their lives vicariously through their partners. Feeling unlovable, they
help others in order to gain love. This is not an unconscious need for
Responsibility types, as they understand that they are loved. The love they
give is a gift without strings attached.
Additionally,
these are the types you find in books or movies that feature loyal employees
(labor dramas) or shy sidekicks; Thrillers (stories designed to invoke fear); fear
comedies. Because they are more fearful than most personality types, this type
of movie pokes fun at their fearfulness. Examples: The Out-of-Towners; What
about Bob.) Books and movies featuring this type also include those with themes
that celebrate cultural traditions, also those of ordinary people banding
together to fight a common enemy. Superhero stories fit into this personality
type’s fantasies. Lastly, themes for this type also fall under the umbrellas of
science versus faith (this type prefers faith) and fear versus faith (this type
uses their faith to overcome their fears). Read about the Responsibility personality.
Still with
me? In contrast, the Forges New Trails type isn't far different from
Responsibility types. Like Responsibility types, they are as often male as
female. Here you
find craftspeople and pioneers, editors, “School Marms” (school teachers);
Puritains and the Amish. Switzerland as a culture reflects this type. People of
this personality type are careful, self-disciplined, independent. They find it
hard to relax, have fun, and to express their emotions. They’re buttoned up
types. Like Responsibility types, they believe in clean and sober living and
conservative values. These types were and are wilderness settlers. They are
thrifty, responsible, and can survive hard times and are people of true grit.
Books and
movies featuring this type include lawyer stories (To Kill a Mockingbird); Pioneer
stories; stories that feature various human limitations and how to live with
them; how to balance living one’s passion with carrying out one’s duty; the
importance of respectability, correctness and good manners. The theme of books
and movies for this type is often one that encourages them to work less and
take time for their families and themselves, especially cultivating their
hobbies or passions that develop their strong but neglected artistic natures. Read about the Forges New Trails (Pioneering) personality.
So if Tom Selleck were to meet Laura
Linney, what might a relationship between these two personality types be like?
They are alike in many ways. They’re both hard workers, serious, dutiful, and want to
make the world a better place. The Forges New Trails personality has greater
mental clarity, and is more guided by thought than emotion, especially under
pressure. They’re more self confident than Responsibility types, and so in this
relationship—Tom and Laura—Laura is more apt to be the leader. She is more
orderly and consistent, and more logical. Both are idealistic, but Laura’s
idealism is more about seeing perfection versus imperfection, and Tom’s is more
about hero worship.
But Tom
would bring more warmth to the mix, as well as emotional availability,
generosity and playfulness. Together, they could be dynamic but stable, if they
share the same fundamental beliefs and values. They can count on each other to
be faithful and to build a solid foundation. They can relax around each other,
which both need, as both tend to overwork.
If there
were trouble in the relationship, Laura would get critical and judgmental of
herself and of him. She’s often all work and no play, which tends to make her
hard to be around. She’ll also begin to think he’s not working hard enough, or
isn’t serious enough, or mature enough, or
careful enough. She’ll have problems with resentment, and her constant
bickering will grate on him.
That will
bring out his insecurities, and he’ll look to her for stability, but instead
he’ll find only more rejection, which will make him even more insecure. He’ll
start to fear that the relationship is doomed and indeed, it might be,
especially if he becomes defensive and evasive. He might also spend more time at
work to avoid spending time with her. She’ll become condescending and blaming,
cold, critical until he finally blames her for all their troubles. Unless they
can talk about their issues, the relationship could be doomed.
But maybe not. They bonded in the first place because of
shared ideals and the willingness to work hard to achieve their dreams. Both
are willing to hang in during tough times, which will increase their trust in
each other. Each one sees the other’s high aspirations as well as each one’s
fear of success.
Both feel guilty about not meeting others exspectations. She’ll
be afraid of making a mistake, whereas he’ll doubt that success is possible. Projecting
their fears on each other, they’ll be afraid to talk about it. He’s afraid of
anger, and she thinks it’s wrong.
Additional Information:
What are Instinctual Subtypes?
Sources from which I collected and synthesized information about the matches
All I could think of when reading that post: What beautiful babies they would have! Ha. I am a fan of both of those actors, from way back.
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