Espionage meets Saleswoman or, Daniel Craig meets Catherine Zeta-Jones

Today's letter is E, and we're looking at a match between the Espionage personality (Daniel Craig) with the Sales(wo)man personality (Catherine Zeta-Jones).

The Espionage personality is more frequently male than female and is seen, in movies and books, as a wizard, alchemist, mad scientist, spy or investigator. They’re secretive loners with a unique view of life. In books or movies where this personality type is the hero, he or she is often a brilliant thinker redeemed by love. The genres will include horror, spy, thrillers, mysteries, noir and dark fantasy. Read about the Espionage (secretive, spy-like) personality.

The Sales(wo)man personality is also more often a male type, but not always. The Salesperson personality is the charmer, the hippie, the adventurer. As with all types, Salesperson has its own inner demons. Non-commital risk-takers, they will skim over the top of life as long as possible, but they will eventually come face-to-face with something or someone they cannot seduce with their charm. This person, thing, or event will teach them some of the things they need to learn. Read about the Salesperson personality.

So what might a relationship between Daniel Craig and Catherine Zeta Jones, or two people exhibiting these personality types, look like? 

Both are mental types who like to talk about ideas. The Espionage personality is more objective, more keenly observant, more independent, than the Salesperson. Very intelligent, he’s often whimsical or quirky, loves intellectual pursuits, and hates social events.

The Salesperson personality is also independent, quick and bright, but more physically active, happy and social—maybe even the life of the party. He’s more grounded than she is, and she needs that grounding, and the ability to see a project to completion. In social situations, she’ll smooth the waters for him.

She loves to do things—travel, take classes, work on many projects at the same time. He loves to be by himself, to pursue the knowledge and to sort his feelings. But because of her independence, she doesn’t mind. He’ll enjoy her pursuits vicariously. Neither needs a lot of time together.

Intimacy will be expressed through a common vision or commitment to their children. In the security of his home, he’ll be a powerful force in the family. 

He’s frugal whereas she’s a spendthrift. She’ll help him be less stingy with his time, energy, momey and experiences. He’ll help temper her expectations, so she won’t be overly disappointed when life isn’t as big or as grand as she’d hoped. 

As head or thought types, they’re also fear types, but they handle their fears in different ways. They will also confuse thinking with feeling. He won’t notice when thought replaces feeling. She won’t see her activity-seeking behaviors as her means of escaping her fears. Both routinely divert their attention from their emotions. She’ll distract herself; he’ll detach.

 

If there were issues between them, it would be because he takes a scarcity view of life, which increases with the amount of stress he’s feeling. Stressed out, he becomes reclusive, detaching from relationships, and even from himself. He becomes a mind in an unused body.   

Although she’s also a head type, she is also very much an action type. In fact, she reacts to stress by flight—excessive action, so as not to have to face what’s eating at her. If there’s anything he can’t stand, and that even frightens him, it’s someone who seems physically or emotionally out of control, as she does when stressed out.

On the other hand, disappointed with the way he goes into his shell when stressed, she will become demanding and pushy, which spirals him further into himself. Whereas a Nurturer personality might wait an Espionage personality hand and foot to get his attention, and a Drama Queen might be emotionally expressive (anger, crying jags), the Saleswoman personality will physically act out. An addictive personality, she might abuse alcohol or drugs, or go on a spending spree, or stay out all night partying. Instead of drawing him closer, that will further alienate him. He’ll lose trust in her. She’ll think the relationship isn’t vibrant enough; he’ll think it isn’t deep enough.

If he goes ever more deeply into his private interests, and she is ever more often away from home, the relationship could be doomed. For all to be well again, he needs to learn to put more time, energy and excitement into the relationship. She needs to be more single-minded and to commit to it.   

Additional Information:

What is the Enneagram, and What are Enneagram Personality Types?  

What are Instinctual Subtypes?  

Traits of the 27 Individual Subtypes  

Sources from which I collected and synthesized information about the matches