Movie Star

Movie StarCorresponds to Enneagram Style 3, Intimate Subtype

A Dozen Things about You

1. You automatically adopt the masculine or feminine image of “star” appeal in your society and era in order to look good and be charismatic

2. Your life depends on winning admiration in business or love relationships, as measured by the amount of attention you get for your efforts

3. You spend a great deal of time, effort and money to fit the cultural norms of sexual attractiveness, rather than your own definition of it

4. If you happen not to look much like some of the norms—say your society looks up to tall people, and you’re short—then you’re in big trouble

5. You gain status by adopting a role with the characteristics that your partner finds appealing, which may result in their uncertainty about your genuine feelings and sexuality, but rather than be real, i.e. rather than risking true intimacy, you keep playing the role … because you’re probably as clueless about your true feelings as your partner is

6. Instead of worrying about your inability to be truly intimate, you worry about your sexual performance

7. If not in a committed relationship, you are frequently promiscuous

8. Eventually, you will be confronted with the fact that it’s all a sham. True intimacy isn’t about performance, but about surrender, and forgetting the self because you are preoccupied with the other—it’s about selflessness

9. But when sexual attractiveness is a means of establishing self-worth, your sexual expression is more a form of self-aggrandizement

10. You see intimacy as a means of engendering envy—your date is more attractive, richer, more important—than someone else’s

11. Preoccupation with looking like the perfect male or female stems from a deep confusion about the masculine and feminine in you. As a woman, you might act ultra-feminine when you’re actually as competitive as any man could ever be. Or you might be a man who’s ashamed of tender feelings. The real self can’t be expressed, because it is thought to be unacceptable, and so the culturally correct model is adopted instead

12. The split between what you’re truly feeling and the role you’re playing causes you to look phony, and indeed to be a phony.